


Purple

by SetTheStarsXnFire



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Depressed Jumin, Drinking, Drinking to Cope, Jumin reflecting on his life, POV First Person
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2017-08-19
Packaged: 2018-12-17 10:47:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11850003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SetTheStarsXnFire/pseuds/SetTheStarsXnFire
Summary: He had never felt so alone, and in the middle of the night, he wondered exactly what could have happened for him to feel this way.





	Purple

When I was young, I met a kid with weird hair at a party my parents had organized. I learned that he was the son of two artists my father had met once at a gallery when they introduced us to each other. The kid, unlike me, was smiling brightly and didn’t hesitate to greet me, walking towards me almost immediately. I, however, had to be dragged from behind my father’s legs and instead of greeting Jihyun as brightly as he did to me, I acted incredibly shy.

And how wouldn’t I? He was the first person my age I ever met, and I was little, barely had any experience dealing with other people besides my family. And my experience with adults hadn’t always been the best.

But Jihyun only smiled.

And we became inseparable shortly after.

 

When I was around eleven, my father and mother went on separate ways, and I, as the heir of a well known and extremely important company had to stay with the man that founded it, my father. I remember feeling pain, a sensation on my chest that made it hard to breathe, and being bothered when my mother left the house, only for that to increase when my father kept bringing different women over. The house that once smelled like strawberry pancakes and books started to smell like wine and perfume. It was then when I started to isolate myself, bury myself under homework, books, papers, and I even started to read the documents with actions the company had done on previous years. And my father was proud, so I kept doing it. My studies also worked as an excuse for when my father’s girlfriends wanted something from me.

Although... _why_ did it hurt so much? I wanted the pain to stop, and so, I tried to stop caring.

I tried kill my own emotions.

But they’re still there, aren’t they?

 

When I was around twenty-two, my best friend got himself a girlfriend, a person he loved and cherised, someone who he called his sun. And I could see why, Rika was sweet, kind, and very perceptive. She could see that something was _wrong_ with the way I acted, and she tried to dig deeper into the matter, but didn’t accomplish anything. She, however, did give me a cat who eased my problems a bit. The nights I hanged around Jihyun and Rika were fun, and soon three people became seven with the start of the RFA, an organization that helped other people.

I remember how I laughed discreetly when Luciel pranked someone, and I got angry when he mentioned how he wanted to kidnap my cat. The arguments I had with Zen were fun in a way, and that brought me a smile almost every day.

I considered the RFA the family I never had.

 

And yet, at the age of twenty-seven I saw that family falling apart. Jihyun was not trusted by anyone but me, Yoosung and Luciel were angry, raging even at my best friend because of the secrets he had been keeping. Assistant Kang... Jaehee, and Zen were both very confused, angry, and at the same time, disappointed.

I...

I didn’t know what to think.

But after my best friend’s death, I feel lost. While everyone else seems happy, I don’t know what to do. The threads around me are pulling, wrapping around my chest, my neck, and tightening. It makes me unable to breath properly some days, and not even Elizabeth 3rd can help me.

I have been drowning myself in work and wine. Those are the only things that keep me away from reminding how I was unable to save the most precious thing to me. If only I had noticed Jihyun’s attitude sooner, if I had linked it to Rika, maybe... maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

Maybe the RFA would be pulling another party with the help of our newest member, and I would be seeing everyone enjoy their time. Zen would probably be going around greeting all the ladies, Yoosung and Jaehee would be helping guests, Luciel and his brother would be pranking people, Yoosung would surely be the first one on their list. And Jihyun... He would make a note on how I should wear purple instead of black, because the color looked good on me, and I would disagree intensely.

I stared at the cup of wine in my hands, the reflection on it only portraying a sad, and tired looking man with bags under his eyes and messed up hair. He tried to smile, and yet it seemed too forced, too fake. “Well, purple was used to describe the color of wine sometimes, wasn’t it, Jihyun?” I said, and I brought the cup closer to my face.

The sweet taste didn’t help relieve all the bitterness inside me.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Tbh this work had had been a long time published over in Tumblr, I just forgot to put it here! Haha...


End file.
